


A Gesture Of Love

by Think_Busby_Think



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F, Prompt Fic, headcanon again, set in season 4, vintage fic for vintage lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9913955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Think_Busby_Think/pseuds/Think_Busby_Think
Summary: After Delia's outburst at the cafe, Patsy realises that she has been taking her for granted.





	1. We'll Find A Way To Be Together

**Author's Note:**

> Sometime back in the Cretaceous period, @awkwardly-romantic gave me a fic prompt. I've been putting it off because I wanted to concentrate on Convergence but it is now determinedly hitting the forefront of my mind, so I have started it. She gave me quite a few elements to work into the story, so I will place the prompts as the come up at the end of each part (so that I can mentally tick them off if nothing else)
> 
> This fic is based on events in Series 4 running through to Christmas. So there are mild spoilers (although I actually can't believe anyone hasn't seen S4 and S5 yet!) It is certainly a timeline that has been tackled by a number of authors before me. I recommend 'Use your Heart, Not Your Head' over on ff.net by maccafan - all completely done from Delia's POV along with Even a Tango's 'Little Things Mean a Lot' (I will recommend others as I update, I'm sure!)
> 
> I don't think my take on this has been done before - but as always, if I do reflect other's ideas, do let me know.
> 
> My lovely beta @SittingOnThis has worked her magic as always - thank you so much.
> 
> I don't think this will be quite as epic as Convergence - but there will be a few more chapters yet.
> 
> Enjoy...

  
_"We'll find a way to be together. I promise."_

  
~~~~

  
"Where are we going?" Delia asked as she followed Patsy to the top deck of the bus they had just boarded.

Patsy stood to one side, allowing Delia to sit by the window before sitting down herself. She fumbled with her cigarettes and lit one before answering. "I intend to make amends for my lack of attention to you in the last few weeks."

Delia shook her head instantly. "Don't be silly Patsy. I was just getting frustrated at the situation, not you."

"You are a darling for letting me off the hook, but I have had a lot of time to think about what you said, and how much I've neglected you since I left for Nonnatus House." Patsy gave the shorter woman a lop-sided smile. "I meant what I said Deels. We will find a way to be together. In the meantime, I'd like to do something for you." She paused for a second. "I'd like to do something to show how much you mean to me."

Delia looked at the red-haired midwife curiously. "What are you up to Patience Mount?"

"Well, believe it or not, Delia Busby, I am about to do something quite risky." She smirked as she saw Delia's eyebrows raise. "But I will need your help. And your acting skills."

"Now I really am intrigued," Delia replied, grinning. "Go on."

"I'd rather wait for a bit if I may, or the surprise will be spoiled. But I will just ask this. Do you trust me?"

"Implicitly," Delia replied instantly.

Patsy's smirk became a full-on smile. "Then trust me, and go with what I ask you to do. And everything should work out perfectly."

Delia cocked her head and frowned at Patsy once again, before huffing slightly. She could tell from Patsy's body language that she wouldn't get anything more from the woman until she was ready to share. In the meantime, the Welsh woman stared out of the window and tried to work out where they were headed.

Some time later, Patsy indicated that they needed to alight and Delia was surprised to find herself in Bond Street in Central London. "What's going on, Patsy?" She asked warily.

Patsy walked along the road for a few moments before pausing outside a Jewellers. "Did you really mean what you said the other day?"

Delia frowned. "You might need to give me a bit more of a hint. What did I say the other day?"

Patsy glanced up and down the street before stepping slightly closer. "Do you really want to get married?" She whispered.

Delia could feel her heart accelerate. She swallowed as she nodded. "Yes," she answered, looking into Patsy's clear blue eyes.

Patsy smiled softly before turning back to the shop window, taking Delia gently by the elbow and guiding her to stand with her. "What engagement ring would you want to wear?" She asked.

"Pats?" Delia stepped back slightly and looked up at Patsy in shock.

"I'm serious. If you had the choice, what ring would you wear?"

Delia stared at Patsy for a long moment, but could read nothing other than complete sincerity. Taking a steadying breath, she returned her gaze to the window and scanned carefully. Even as she studied the display, she could feel her heart continue to race. She could sense that she was on the precipice of a decision, but she wasn't sure if she could do what Patsy wanted. And then her eyes fell on the ring she wanted. Almost antique looking, it was a rich, dark gold with gems set in a classic clasp. The brunette stared at it for an eternity but didn't want to say anything. There were no prices listed on any of the rings. For all she knew, she had focused in on the most expensive ring in the shop.

Patsy knew which ring Delia wanted the second she set eyes on it. Her body stilled as she stared at one particular tray of rings. The tall midwife scanned the display and just knew instinctively the ring Delia had in mind. Patsy found it quite endearing really. Although she was not an expert in valuables, she knew that it wasn't the most expensive ring on display by a long way. But it had a classic elegance to it and suited Delia's personality perfectly. "Third one up on the left?" She confirmed quietly.

Delia nodded. "That's the one I'd wear. It's beautiful. But aren't we just torturing ourselves with a fantasy? There's no way I could ever wear your ring, no matter how much I want to."

Patsy exhaled heavily as she turned towards Delia and stepped slightly closer. "If things were different and there were no barriers, would you really want to marry me?"

Delia looked up into Patsy's eyes, her own filling up slightly. "More than anything," she replied softly, repeating her declaration of a few days ago.

Patsy drew in a deep breath through her nose and nodded, looking determined. "Alright. Remember when I asked you to trust me?"

Delia nodded slowly.

Patsy smiled back. "You need to remember the following, and then take my lead. Your fiancé is my older brother and he's called Phillip. He's away on business in the Far East." She took Delia by the crook of the arm even as the brunette opened her mouth to protest, and propelled her into the jewellers in front of her.

The second the door was closed behind them, Patsy let go and stepped towards the counter. "I know it was terrible of me to deceive you like this, but Phillip made me promise to get you a ring. He's determined that everyone should know that you're betrothed, even though he's stuck out in Singapore for the next month."

"Patsy?" Delia managed, her brain malfunctioning slightly even as she tried to catch up with the sudden change in Patsy. The tall red-haired midwife oozed with the easy confidence of class and breeding, and looked completely at home, despite standing in the middle of a Jewellers on Bond Street and talking in an unnaturally loud voice.

Patsy simply smiled and turned to the assistant. "Good morning. I have been entrusted with a task I am honoured to do with my best friend." She smiled back at Delia before returning her gaze to the tall man. "We'd like to see the rings on tray 23 please."

"Certainly madam," the assistant answered and left to retrieve the requested items.

"Patsy, what are you doing?" Delia stepped forward to join her at the counter.

"I'm sorry I was so secretive. It was all planned as part of the ruse. Now you know why I asked which ring you'd wear. All we need to do now is hope they have one in your size." Patsy continued to speak confidently. She looked up at the assistant as he returned with the tray and then pointed out the ring that Delia had decided upon.

"Do you know what size you wear, madam?" He asked Delia politely.

Delia flushed and blinked in surprise. "I'm not sure," she hedged, nervously.

Patsy looked at the diminutive nurse and smiled reassuringly before turning back to the assistant. "We are here to purchase an engagement ring. I have no intention on relying on guesswork for such a precious acquisition." She raised an eyebrow expectantly as she watched the assistant hesitate. Inwardly, Patsy sighed. If she were a man, she would not need to spell any of this out, and the assistant would be fawning all over Delia. It was time to turn up the class, and give Delia a glimpse of the world Patsy had once inhabited. "Given that I want the ring to fit perfectly, perhaps you could assist with a ring measurement before we go any further young man?"

The assistant, who looked to be at least ten years older than Patsy, blanched before realising that he needed to properly interact with the pair of women, no matter how unusual the situation. Picking up the tray of rings, he hurried around the counter, and led Delia to a seating area further inside the Jewellers. "Please take a seat madam." He indicated a formal looking cushioned chair on one side of a dark, polished table. He placed the tray of rings to one side before sitting opposite Delia. He glanced up and looked at Patsy expectantly.

Patsy hurriedly sat down and waited for the assistant to continue attending to Delia.

He looked at Delia's hand steadily before retrieving a large bunch of sizing rings and selecting one for her to try. The first one was too small but the assistant simply smiled apologetically and offered another one. That fit was much more successful and Delia nodded enthusiastically when the assistant asked if it felt right.

After retrieving the sizing ring, the assistant checked the size and then returned his attention to the tray of rings. He lifted out the ring Patsy had indicated and inspected it carefully. "I believe you may be in luck." He offered the ring to Delia but was intercepted by Patsy who plucked the ring from his fingers.

"I'm so sorry," she smiled apologetically. "I've been entrusted with a very important task, so I feel it only right to ensure that this is perfect." She winced as she saw the assistant stiffen slightly. "I mean no offence, but I need to answer honestly if I am asked if I inspected the ring. It is, after all, a purchase worthy of consideration, rather than impulse."

The assistant nodded quickly, and swallowed, slightly cowed by the tall woman's confident approach.

Delia's mind was reeling. Despite being in on the charade, the only untruth Patsy had said was right at the beginning of the conversation in the Jewellers. There was, in fact, no charade to this at all. This was really happening. Patsy was going to buy her a ring. No, Patsy was going to buy her an engagement ring. She watched as Patsy carefully moved the ring through her fingers, looking for any imperfections.

Delia's breath caught when Patsy finished and looked directly at her, holding the ring out between her thumb and first two fingers. It was clear that Patsy had every intention of slipping the ring onto her finger.

"Well, I suppose we'd better try it for size," Patsy commented, trying to steady her own nerves as well as continue the pretence with the assistant. She flushed slightly, realising the symbolism of what she was about to do. She cleared her throat and looked at Delia, holding the ring out. "Delia, will you...?" She asked softly.

Delia swallowed, feeling a mass of emotions wash over her. "I will," she replied, her voice hoarse as she held out her left hand shakily.

For a few seconds, Patsy was immersed in the moment and she completely forgot that they were in a public place being watched by a Jeweller's assistant. With a slightly trembling hand, she pushed the ring onto Delia's finger, smiling in relief as it slid easily onto the other woman's finger. She looked at Delia and could see her blue eyes bright and glimmering with unshed tears.

The moment was broken when the assistant spoke. "I'm terribly sorry madam. It looks a little large. Would you like us to adjust it for you?"

Delia jumped at the sound of the man's voice and looked around in slight bewilderment before returning his look. "No," she demurred instantly. There was no way she wanted to hand it back, even for just a few days. Her mind worked rapidly. "I'm a nurse. I won't be able to wear the ring while I'm working so I'll be taking it on and off frequently. I'd rather not have to struggle each time."

The assistant looked at her dubiously. "Are you sure it's not too loose?" He queried.

Delia reluctantly pulled her hand out of Patsy's grasp and then flicked it quickly with her fingers splayed. The ring remained resolutely in place. "I think I'll be just fine," she assured the man.

The assistant nodded and then rummaged in one of the table drawers to retrieve a ring box. "Shall I wrap it for you now, madam?" He offered politely.

"That's very kind of you to offer, but what was it you said, Pats? Everyone needs to know I'm betrothed? I really ought to keep it on, don't you think?"

Patsy gave Delia a proud half-smile. She didn't think her heart could hold any more love for Delia at this particular second. She knew that Delia would have to take the ring off before they got home, but she would not deny her the pleasure of wearing it now. "That was the instruction," she agreed, canting her head slightly. "Now then, I have no desire to be rude Delia but I must finish business with the Jewellers."

Instantly, Delia realised that Patsy didn't want her to know how expensive the ring was. For a second, she thought about taking the ring off and returning it. She didn't want Patsy to spend hard-earned money on an adornment she couldn't wear and her hand drifted over the ring still situated on her left hand.

Patsy saw the gesture and reached over to Delia, gently laying her hand over the other woman's. "Don't," she requested softly. "This is all planned and prepared for. Please don't think you don't deserve this, or that you shouldn't." She looked at Delia beseechingly.

Delia paused for a second, and realised that Patsy had put a huge amount of thought into all of this. It made sense that she would be prepared to pay for the ring too. Patsy hadn't batted an eye when she picked the ring out, and Delia was certain that if it was too much, she would have said something, or at least diverted her to an alternative. She nodded slowly as she stood up. "I'll wait over there," she stated, gesturing to another display of items that was a suitable distance away from the table.

Patsy nodded. "Thank you." She turned back to the assistant and placed her handbag on her lap. She opened it efficiently and flicked through the contents methodically. "Will a cheque be acceptable?"

"I'll have to telephone through to..." The assistant trailed off when he saw Patsy place a Coutts & Co cheque book on the table. "That will be no problem at all, madam," he confirmed. He handed Patsy the receipt for the ring and a fountain pen for her to write out a cheque.

Patsy glanced at the price listed and, with an elegant script, entered the details on each line. She was secretly rather surprised. The ring hadn't been as expensive as she had predicted. It wouldn't have mattered if it had been twice the cost, she would happily have paid it. Seeing Delia's face as she slipped the ring on her finger was priceless to her, and a memory she would treasure forever. Judging by Delia's reaction, the younger woman would treasure the memory forever too.

Dutifully, the assistant reviewed the cheque before excusing himself in order to place it in the register along with the documentation for the sale. He then placed the empty ring box into a small cloth bag. He fastened the opening with the elegant drawstring and then smiled slightly as he handed it to Patsy. He frowned as he looked over to where Delia was surveying a display. "Won't her fiancé be disappointed that he can't pop the question with the ring?" He asked.

Patsy smiled enigmatically. "It's already been asked and answered," she replied. "This is simply a gesture of love."

"Lucky woman," the assistant commented.

"Yes," Patsy replied simply, thinking that she was indeed.

After they left the Jewellers, Delia insisted on taking Patsy to tea in order to celebrate. Patsy knew that Delia was concerned at the money that had been spent on her, so made no attempt to offer to pay. She smiled as she saw Delia absently touching the ring, even as she sipped at her tea.

Delia caught sight of Patsy's expression and grinned back. "Thank you," she whispered. "I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"If it's anywhere close to what it means to me, then I have a pretty clear idea," Patsy replied.

Delia sighed. "However I can't wear this all the time. Not only is it not suitable for work, I couldn't possibly come up with a reason to wear it."

Patsy looked at Delia steadily. "There is a way you can wear it all the time," she stated carefully. "And it would mean the world to me if you did."

Delia frowned as she took a sip of tea. "What do you mean?"

Patsy swallowed nervously. "Most of mother's possessions were lost during the war," she explained, her voice dull as she tried to keep her composure. "She bartered her rings and bracelets for food and medicine," she continued. "But mother kept one item of jewellery." She dug around in her jacket pocket and drew out a gold chain. "This was my mother's necklace. She gave it to me before she became very ill. I managed to keep it hidden from the guards and other internees, along with her compact mirror. If it's alright with you, I'd like you to have it, and use it to hold the ring."

Delia's eyes widened. "Patsy, no. It's your mother's. I couldn't possibly take it from you," she protested.

Patsy smiled wanly. "I can't think of a better way to use it." She ran the chain through her fingers as she composed herself. "This belonged to someone I loved dearly and miss every day. Up until today, it has resided in my memory box, only seeing the light of day when I felt melancholy. I think it serves a much better purpose carrying our ring and being worn by the one I love more than anything."

"Are you sure?" Delia whispered, her heart pounding rapidly.

Patsy nodded, giving a half-smile as she tried to keep her emotions in check. "Definitely."

Delia nodded shakily and pressed her lips to the ring she was wearing before removing it. She held out her hand and Patsy pooled the chain into her waiting palm. Carefully she threaded the gold through the ring and then took either end and fastened it behind her neck. Delia tugged the chain slightly and grasped the ring for a long moment in her fist before removing her hand and looking at Patsy. "Well?" She asked tentatively.

Patsy nodded, feeling her throat constrict with emotion. "It's perfect," she managed.

Delia smiled back in relief and shook her head almost in disbelief. Just a few days ago, they had argued about the fact that they could never marry. Today felt like the best day of her life. She would remember this for the rest of her life.

 

To be continued...


	2. I can say; Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia convinces Patsy to share a flat with her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't actually managed to tick off any of the prompts given to me by awkwardly-romantic in this update, but I was convinced to write this scene or readers might feel robbed of a bit more fluff!
> 
> This part of the timeline has very definitely been done by authors before me. I recommend "Give me Your Heart to Rely On" by AbroodyGay (this was the fic that prompted me to start writing pupcake, so thank you!) and "I Wanted to Ring Out the Bells..." by Bluebluebaby.
> 
> Thanks as always to Sittingonthis for her wise words of feedback.

_"I can say; Welcome Home"_

~~~~~

  
Patsy drained her metal bucket of dirty water into the sink, swilled it out and started to fill it again with cold water. The hot water tank had long ago emptied and the immersion heater was unable to keep up with the exacting pace she had set while cleaning the flat. The red-haired nurse had found the cleaning experience rather joyous. While the tiny flat she and Delia had picked out was certainly in need of a good clean, they had both seen past the grime and realised that it suited their needs perfectly. They had made good progress today and it was now certainly fit to be lived in, although there was a long way to go before it met her standards of hygiene.

As she agitated the water and added detergent, Patsy felt arms wrap around her and she smiled as Delia rested her hands on her forearms.

"I think we've done enough cleaning for today Patsy," she stated softly.

"I was just going to clean the windows. They're filthy," Patsy protested, although she had to admit she put no real effort in.

"They can wait. If anything, it's more convenient that they are dirty, given the flimsy curtains. In a way it gives us a little privacy," Delia pointed out. "Besides, our hands have been immersed in harsh chemicals all morning. I don't want you contracting contact dermatitis Nurse Mount."

"Oh, well. If you're making me stop for clinical reasons, I suppose I must abide by your decision, Patsy grinned as she turned off the tap. She turned round slowly, glad that Delia kept her arms looped around her. "But you know me, Deels. I need to have something to do to occupy myself. Any suggestions?" She gave her trademark lop-sided grin even as she noted Delia's eyes dilate slightly.

"Oh, I've got lots of suggestions. What I want to do right now though, is take a breather, eat our picnic and toast our new home," Delia responded with a smile.

"I like your thinking, Busby. Lead the way." She was about to break free from Delia's grasp but met resistance. "What's the matter?" She asked, frowning slightly.

"Absolutely nothing at all. Which is why I can now do this without my heart hammering for all the wrong reasons," Delia replied assuredly.

Patsy's frown deepened slightly. "Do what?"

Delia answered by lifting herself up onto her tiptoes and placing her lips gently against Patsy's. "This," she murmured, smiling as she felt Patsy respond instantly. They kissed languidly for a few moments, both enjoying the freedom that they had suddenly found.

Patsy eventually broke the embrace. "Come on. We've got pork pie and custard slices for lunch."

Delia sighed. "Perfect."

The two women worked quickly together to throw down a blanket and spread out their supplies. Delia huffed as she poured lemonade into tumblers. "I really feel we ought to be toasting our new start with something stronger than lemonade," she grumbled.

"We can't have you turning up for your late shift pie-eyed, can we Nurse Busby?" Patsy teased good-naturedly.

"I suppose," Delia agreed begrudgingly. "But as soon as we both have an evening free together, I demand a far grander celebration for our new flat," she declared, nodding to herself as she handed one of the glasses over to Patsy. They sat either side of the food and made quick work of it. Once most of it was gone, Delia took a moment to sit back and reality hit. They had done it. They were going to live together. She could scarcely believe their fortune.

"I want the only flowers to be real flowers, over there on that windowsill, where they'll catch the light each morning when the sun comes up," she decided, ignoring the fact that the windows were still in desperate need of cleaning.

"We'll have to find something better than that ghastly jug," Patsy protested.

"Oh I like it. It's as though somebody left it for us like a little gift." She smiled softly at Patsy for a moment. "And I want to smell coffee when I wake up. And bleach. Because that'll mean that you're here, or that you've just gone out."

Patsy raised her eyebrows, revelling in the younger woman's enthusiasm. Delia looked blissfully happy sat opposite her on a borrowed blanket from the Convent and eating from a couple of borrowed plates. Her heart swelled as she noticed the ring she had bought Delia hanging round her neck. Every time Patsy caught sight of the ring, it made her pulse quicken. When Delia had answered her proposal in the middle of the Jewellers, Patsy could have sworn that the whole world stopped for a moment. She still couldn't believe just how lucky she was to have Delia in her life.

"And when you come back in, I can say; welcome home," Delia continued.

Patsy grinned and clinked her glass against the other woman's again in a silent toast. They sipped their drinks quietly for a few moments before Patsy placed hers well away from the picnic blanket. Silently, she gestured for Delia to pass over her glass and she put it next to her own before looking back at Delia carefully. She scooted a little closer and raised her hand to caress Delia's cheek. "I love you," she declared quietly but clearly.

Delia leaned into the caress and smiled. "I love you too," she replied before leaning forward to place her lips on her lover's.

Patsy kept the kiss soft to start with, but could feel her heart racing again. They were alone. There was absolutely no way they would be disturbed, except on their terms, which meant they were safe. They were safe at last to let things happen without being on guard somehow. To actually get lost in the moment. Patsy wasn't sure she wanted to get more intimate on a blanket borrowed from Nonnatus House however, and she recalled that they were on a schedule. Reluctantly, the midwife eased off and broke the kiss, smiling when she saw Delia leaning forward slightly, eyes still closed.

"Come on, let's tidy these things away."

Delia opened one eye and frowned before smiling cheekily and laying a hand on top of Patsy's, stopping her from picking up a plate. "Leave it. I think we have far more important things to be doing, don't you?"

Patsy canted her head slightly. "Are you really sure you want to? On this blanket?" She demurred.

Delia chuckled and shook her head. "Frankly I'd _want to_ anywhere with you. However, while you were busy scrubbing the sink in the kitchen, I was busy dusting the bedroom and putting the sheets I purloined from Nonnatus on the bed." She smiled lovingly. "It's not spotless yet, but I think you'll find it acceptable."

Patsy grinned. "Are you sure we have time?" she asked, raising one eyebrow suggestively.

"Not for everything I want to do to you. But we have time enough," Delia replied, raising an eyebrow of her own. She got up slowly, careful not to knock any of the plates as she stood. "Shall we?" She asked softly, offering her hand as assistance for Patsy. She felt heat bloom across her cheeks as she realised exactly what it was she was asking Patsy to do.

Patsy felt her cheeks redden in return, although this was hardly their first time. There was somehow something very special about it though. This was very much them moving on with their relationship in a way Patsy truly hadn't thought was possible. She held out a hand and allowed Delia to help her stand, pulling the smaller girl towards her as soon as she was upright. Even as Delia wrapped her arms around her, Patsy found her lips again and kissed her deeply, feeling her pulse quicken as she heard Delia moan into the caress.

Patsy wasted no time, knowing that Delia would need to get ready for work soon. She pushed into the smaller woman slightly, making her back up. Purposefully, she manoeuvred them both into the bedroom, somehow managing to not break the kiss even as they moved. Patsy was vaguely aware that the room was very definitely cleaner than it had been, and the bed was, of course, meticulously made. She guided Delia to the edge of the bed and then pushed back slightly harder, ensuring they both tumbled onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.

Delia quickly moved her hands to the buttons of Patsy's shirt and flicked them open rapidly. She pushed the blue shirt over Patsy's shoulders and allowed Patsy to take care of removing the article of clothing completely. She was far more interested in placing her lips on newly exposed skin as her hands drifted down to deal with Patsy's trousers.

Patsy cursed her fashion choice of tight-fitting pedal pushers as she realised they were wasting far too much time trying to divest them. In a grunt of frustration, she rolled off Delia and quickly stripped, pausing when she caught Delia's amused look. She looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry. When we have all evening and all night, we can take as much time as we need, but right now, I need you, and I don't want to waste a second."

Delia simply hooked an arm round Patsy's neck and drew her close again. "Remember where you were?" She asked, her voice surprisingly throaty.

Patsy answered with action, not words and ran her hands slowly up Delia's thighs and under the hem of her dress. "I have an idea," she murmured into Delia's neck as she nipped the soft skin there, inhaling Delia's perfume and unique scent as she laved attention at her pulse-point. Patsy's hands moved of their own volition, responding to the sounds Delia made. Within moments, the pair were focused solely on each other, completely immersed in the sensations they were experiencing.

For the first time, neither woman held back their moans, although years of restraint meant that they were not completely carefree. Somewhere in the recesses of Patsy's mind, she made a note that they would have to test the acoustics of the flat in order to avoid questions from the neighbours. It would take some time to break their strict rule of silence, so just hearing Delia make muted sounds of pleasure sent Patsy soaring. She was quite convinced from the other woman's response to her own vocalisation that Delia felt the same way.

Far too soon, they lay gasping in each other's arms, revelling in their nearness even as cool air chilled damp skin. Patsy grabbed the blankets and covered them quickly, even as she snuggled closer into Delia. She glanced briefly at her watch. "I will not be denied ten minutes cuddling the love of my life," she declared, smiling as Delia gazed up at her, brow sweaty, and eyes gleaming. She really didn't think Delia could look any more beautiful.

"Who in their right mind would refuse that?" Delia mused, grinning madly. She brushed a strand of hair away from Patsy's eyes. "I can't believe we've managed this. It almost feels too good to be true," she whispered.

Patsy adjusted her position slightly, leaned down and kissed Delia's engagement ring where it rested in the hollow of her neck. "I still can't believe you had the nerve to say 'I will'," she murmured.

"I think proposing in the middle of a Jewellers somewhat trumps my couple of words. Although really, what else could I say? Frankly, I'd have said yes if you'd presented me with a loop of yarn," Delia replied easily, even though she could feel her pulse quicken. There was silence for a few moments as they basked in each other's warmth.

"I love you," Delia muttered softly.

Patsy looked into the other woman's blue eyes and smiled earnestly. "I'm the same," she replied, smirking as Delia furrowed her brow at her. "Come on, we need to get a move on."

The women hurried from their warm bed and Patsy retrieved her own clothing while Delia collected her uniform. The red-haired nurse gathered Delia's clothes together and placed them in a neat pile at the foot of the bed once she had straightened the covers. They would need to get a laundry basket she mused silently to herself. She grinned as she realised that there was a long list of items they would need to turn the flat into a smoothly running home.

Delia hurriedly placed pins in her hair in an effort to get it somewhat presentable. Once it was up, she took her nurse's hat from Patsy's outstretched arm and used yet more pins to secure it in place. She peered into the mirror in the bathroom and decided that would have to do.

As she rushed through the living room, Delia winced at the blanket and plates still lying on the floor.

Patsy shook her head and guided her to the stairs. "Don't worry about it. I'll tidy up later."

"That's most unlike you," the Welsh nurse teased.

"Well I certainly won't be making a habit of it, but I think I can bend the rules just this once," Patsy decided as they skipped down the stairs.

As they left the flat, the midwife held out her hand. "Shall I take the keys and get a set cut for you?"

Delia smiled as she handed the keys over. "Yes. I'd come with you but I'll be late on duty if I don't fly."

Patsy glanced at her watch. "Gosh, yes. It's twenty to."

Delia's eyes widened and she felt her heart lurch. "Twenty to? I thought it was about quarter past." She looked at her watch anxiously before looking back up at the red-haired midwife. "Oh, I must have got water in my watch."

Patsy smiled. "Take my bike," she offered.

Delia's eyebrows shot up. "Are you sure?"

Patsy nodded quickly. "Park it outside the nurses home. I'll fetch it before my shift tonight. No-one will ever know." Her smiled softened as Delia stepped past her to get to the bike and she unwrapped the burgundy scarf from around her neck and looped it round the younger woman's. "Take this as well. I don't want you catching cold."

Delia smiled back softly, recalling the moment just a short while ago when Patsy tugged the blankets over them to keep off the chill, telling her that ten minutes of snuggling was equally as important as the time spent losing themselves to passion.

"You really are a sort of angel." Delia's accent seemed thicker now, and she knew her emotions were still running high. "Tragedy is, no-one will ever know that either."

Patsy grinned and stepped to one side as Delia took the bike and stepped onto a pedal. She pushed off and swung her leg over to sit on the saddle but concentrated on riding, rather than turn around to wave back at Patsy. She knew instinctively that she was watching her and was determined to ride the bike correctly, so that Patsy would have nothing to worry about.

Even as she pedalled, Delia allowed her mind to wander back to just a few moments ago and couldn't keep the smile from her face even as the chill air battered her. She would return to the flat tomorrow morning and bring with her the clothes from her room in the nurses home. It might take a couple of trips, but she was looking forward to moving in properly. It was a dream come true at long last, and Delia daydreamed of Patsy coming home to her. It was only when her momentum became suddenly lateral and she was crashing towards the ground that she realised that something was dreadfully wrong. She had barely registered the pain of being struck before her head hit the pavement and she knew no more.

**To be continued..**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to watch most of 4.8 far too many times in order for me to fully understand how the timeline went (surprisingly difficult until I realised that they had hot food at lunchtime rather than dinner). This is truly one of the saddest episodes of CtM. Not just because of the Patsy/Delia storyline, but Trixie's too. Just devastating.
> 
> It's quite tricky keeping aligned to canon - but it is an enjoyable challenge. Hope you liked it!


	3. Are You A Relative?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patsy learns of Delia's accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I had to watch 4.08 several times to get the script and feel right for this update. I will just say (again) that this is truly one of the most heart wrenching episodes of Call the Midwife.
> 
> Massive **Angst Klaxon** in this update. To be fair though, nearly all of it was generated by the episode itself, not me. I have simply fleshed out a few thoughts.
> 
> Another shout out to other fics that have covered this particular storyline. Over on fanfiction.net there is a lovely story called "Recovery" by JayJayBee
> 
> Thanks as always for the wise guidance provided by @Sittingonthis (although I will point angst blame in her direction as she told me to make it more angsty!!) and also thanks to @gigi-nutshell for helping me try and make sense of 60s hospital administration (and tut a lot at some of the continuity issues!)

_"Are you a Relative?"_

 

_~~~~_

 

"Oh thank goodness. It wasn't you."

Patsy was taken quite by surprise as Sister Winifred threw her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Whatever's the matter?" She asked, her brow furrowing in concern at Sister Winifred's unusually demonstrative behaviour.

Winifred stepped back and thrust out her hand, showing Patsy the scarf she was holding. "I found this lying near the bicycle. I thought it was you who had been run over. I hurried back and you weren't here. I didn't know what to do." Her eyes were glistening with tears as the young nun struggled to control her emotions.

Patsy felt herself sway as she became light-headed and she grabbed onto the edge of the table in order to keep herself upright. "Run over?" She echoed, her voice barely a whisper.

"Yes. Just by the warehouses. There was an accident." Sister Winifred spoke quickly, still shaken by events.

"Did they say what happened? Was she alright?" Patsy demanded.

"The police officer said a nurse had been run over. She was unconscious but he didn't have any more information. They were rushing her to hospital as I arrived. I saw the bicycle I just assumed he meant a midwife. And then I found your scarf." Sister Winifred's voice was quite hoarse. She had clearly been deeply affected by what she thought had happened.

"What's the matter?" Barbara walked into the Preparation Room and picked up on the anxiety immediately.

Patsy exhaled shakily. "I leant Delia my bicycle." She glanced down at the maroon scarf Winifred was still holding. "And my scarf." She swallowed. "It would appear she's been in an accident."

"Oh no. How terrible." Barbara felt quite powerless to provide any more comfort than that and noticed Patsy pacing nervously. "Patsy, can I help?"

Patsy turned around and saw the earnest faces of both Barbara and Sister Winifred looking at her sympathetically. "I don't know." She shook her head helplessly. "I don't know what to do."

"Might I suggest you ring the hospital? At least that way you know where she is," Nurse Crane commented, having heard the conversation as she entered. She looked at the tension in Patsy's face and knew that the woman was perilously close to breaking. Giving her something to do might distract her from feeling totally helpless.

Patsy nodded, suddenly grateful to concentrate on one small thing rather than getting overwhelmed by the magnitude of the situation. She hurried to the telephone and dialled quickly.

"Good afternoon, The London Hospital Accident Department."

Patsy took a steadying breath and tried to calm herself, knowing that three pairs of eyes were studying her intently. "I'm enquiring about a Miss Delia Busby. We believe she may have been brought to you following a cycling accident."

"Of course, please hold."

Patsy worried at a nail as she waited, straining to hear any conversation that might give her a clue as to Delia's condition.

Phyllis narrowed her eyes in concern at the young midwife. It was quite clear that they were good friends, and it must be alarming to have to wait for any sort of news. She tsked softly. "Such a nice young woman too," she commented. "Her mother and father will be beside themselves." She looked intently at the red-haired nurse and decided that they weren't the only ones.

Barbara looked up from sorting out her equipment and smiled tightly. "They live miles away, in Wales."

"Hello?" A disembodied male voice startled Patsy slightly. "Are you a relative?"

Instantly, Patsy's heart sank, already knowing what was coming next. Swallowing down the bitter taste in her mouth, she forced herself to answer. "No, I'm a friend." Her voice sounded foreign to her ears.

"Information can only be given to a patient's next of kin," the voice confirmed.

Patsy closed her eyes for a long second as she gripped the telephone receiver tightly, knuckles bleached white by the effort. "Of course. Thank you." She hung up quickly and turned to face the room's other occupants. Her face was a mask, but it was clear she was struggling to maintain her composure.

Phyllis looked up. "Any news?"

Patsy shook her head. "No." The word barely managed to make it past strangled vocal cords.

"Would you like me to run you to the London in my car?"

Patsy shook her head and grimaced. "They're only letting her see her nearest and dearest. You know what the rules are like."

Suddenly, everything felt too much for Patsy. The protective walls she was so meticulous at constructing seemed to be disintegrating. Smiling tightly, the tall midwife silently excused herself from the Preparation room and hurried up the stairs to her bedroom. Thankfully, Trixie was still out on rounds. Her hands shook as she lit a cigarette and Patsy barely had the control to inhale. Eventually though, years of practice kicked in and she managed to draw enough smoke into her lungs to feel the cigarette's calming effects.

Patsy's mind raced. She needed to do something. It would not do for her to dwell on the present. Nor would it do her any good thinking about what had actually happened to Delia. She needed to find out for certain what was going on, rather than allow her imagination to provide a range of horrendous scenarios to fill in the blanks.

Her usual outlet when she was on edge was cleaning. However Patsy did not want to go back downstairs. It held the prospect of everyone else wanting to add their conjecture on what had happened. Patsy needed facts. She stared at her chest of drawers and smiled grimly after taking another deep lungful of smoke. Patsy had planned on sorting out her underwear when she packed to move into the flat. She didn't want to move in without Delia. She would stay at the Convent until she knew that Delia was well enough, and then they could reschedule their moving in date.

In the meantime, it would do no harm to sort out her unmentionables right now. It would make packing that much easier when the time came. With a grim look of determination on her face, Patsy stood and opened the top drawer. She grabbed a huge handful of garments and threw them onto her bed. She could do with sorting out all her nylons into proper pairs too. With a critical eye, Patsy decided on a strategy for sorting her clothes and began to divide them into separate piles, inspecting each garment carefully to ensure that it was worthy of being kept.

Even as she performed her mindless task, Patsy couldn't help her thoughts focusing on Delia. She was Patsy's anchor. She gave her strength and support and her love was unconditional. Patsy could barely believe she was so lucky to have someone like Delia. They had a profound connection that felt unbreakable. But society held no recognition for their relationship. With all the will in the world, she would never be considered Delia's next of kin. Patsy bit back a sob at the thought that she might be prevented from seeing Delia altogether. And how Delia herself must be feeling. All alone, while waiting for her parents to arrive.

Patsy allowed herself a few moments to cry and get the initial shock and adrenaline out of her system. Then she diverted her thoughts towards what to do next. If she knew Delia at all, the diminutive nurse was probably already trying to insist that Patsy visit, rules be damned. She would be fretting about how Patsy would be reacting and desperate to get a message to her.

She was working later. In a way, it would be a welcome distraction and if she played her cards right, Patsy might be able to find someone in the Accident Department who could tell her where Delia had ended up. With a bit of luck, she would be able to track her down and visit her tomorrow.

Patsy knew that she wouldn't be able to relax until she saw Delia with her own eyes, and checked that she was alright. But she was alive, and that thought alone provided enough relief for Patsy to box up her feelings while she tidied before she started work in the evening.

 

~~~~

 

A stroke of good fortune meant that Patsy had been able to speak to one of her old student colleagues who now worked in the Accident Department. Nurse Tate knew that Patsy and Delia were close and had initially been delighted to hear that they were still the best of friends. As soon as she understood the situation, she surreptitiously reviewed the notes and advised Patsy which ward Delia was on.

Patsy took no comfort from the fact that it was a high dependency ward. The accident must have hurt Delia quite badly. She had paced in her room all morning, knowing that there was no way at all she would be allowed to see Delia while the Doctors rounds were being conducted. As soon as she thought there might be a chance of visiting, Patsy collected a bunch of flowers from the local florist and hurried to the ward.

Glancing through the window, she could see an older woman in there, her face stricken with concern as a nurse appeared to fuss over Delia.

Delia.

Patsy couldn't tear her eyes away from the young nurse. She looked so small lying in the hospital bed. Her hair was lank and only partially tied back. Her face was red and grazed, and Patsy was sure there was a large lump just over her eye. What made Patsy's insides twist in agony was the look of lost confusion on Delia's face. Her usually sharp, attentive eyes appeared unfocused. She looked bewildered and scared.

Patsy's heart clenched painfully. All she wanted to do was go in and envelope Delia in a hug. Take away the pain and fear the young woman was so clearly feeling. She was just about to enter when the older woman exited the room.

"Can I help you dear?" The woman seemed quite surprised to see Patsy standing there.

The Welsh accent was unmistakable. "Are you Delia's mother?"

"Yes I am," the short brunette confirmed, still looking perplexed.

"I was hoping to see her. I'm Patsy." Patsy thought she'd better introduce herself formally.

"Patsy?" The woman frowned as she thought for a moment. "Oh, of course. You're the lady she helps at Cubs."

Patsy couldn't help a look of disappointment ghost across her face. She stilled her features quickly, trying to build a mask.

Mrs Busby continued. "I had to ring for the nurse. She has these spells... seizures the doctors call them. On account of the knock to her head." Mrs Busby made no attempt to hide the fear or concern in her voice. She looked back through the round window to where Delia lay.

Patsy forced herself to take a calming breath. Mrs Busby would have no idea of their relationship. It had been Patsy who had insisted on it. She was not prepared to risk discovery and therefore risk their relationship. But rather illogically, she had secretly hoped that Delia had told her family a little more about her. To be nothing more than a lady Delia _helped at Cubs_ was soul-destroying.

Patsy should have known that Delia would have kept her word. She might be cheeky and happy-go-lucky, but Delia placed a high tariff on integrity. She had promised Patsy she wouldn't tell her parents about her, despite vehemently protesting that she wanted them to at least know that Patsy was important to her, even if only platonically.

Patsy looked over Mrs Busby's shoulder and into Delia's room. Her heart lurched again as she watched a doctor examine her. But she was here now. She had met Delia's mother. Patsy had no intention of going anywhere until she she could speak to Delia and let her know that she was nearby.

The tall midwife turned to Mrs Busby. "Would you mind if I sat with Delia once the doctors have finished?" She asked politely.

Mrs Busby nodded shakily. "Of course, dear. It might do her some good to be have a familiar face nearby."

Patsy gave her a watery smile and hovered near the door for her opportunity to enter. A cold wave of fear crashed over her when she heard Mrs Busby's next words.

"She's lost her memory. Doesn't even know who she is."

Patsy spun round. "What?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"The doctor says it's to do with her head injury. Poor thing doesn't even recognise me. She keeps asking who I am." Mrs Busby's words fell away as she tried to control her emotions.

Patsy could feel her heart hammering in her chest. The thought that Delia might not know her brought her visceral pain. With an almost physical effort, Patsy forced herself to recall what she knew about head injuries. Amnesia could happen, but was most often temporary. What worried her was the added seizures Mrs Busby had spoken about. If they were severe enough, they might not allow Delia's brain to heal properly. She might not recover her memory at all.

Patsy's thoughts were disturbed by the door opening and the doctor leaving. Drawing a shaky breath, she looked at Mrs Busby hopefully.

"Go on in dear. Now that I know she has someone with her, I'm going to find a cup of tea." Mrs Busby also appeared to be in self-preservation mode, wanting to give herself tasks in order not to be overwhelmed by what had happened to her daughter.

Patsy nodded gratefully. She turned to the door, only to be stopped when Mrs Busby laid a hand gently on the crook of her arm.

"Promise me you'll fetch me if something happens," she requested urgently.

"I promise," Patsy responded instantly, knowing that she meant it.

Despite knowing that Delia was suffering with some sort of memory loss, the pain that Patsy felt when she saw unrecognising eyes stare at her stopped her in her tracks. She almost gasped out loud as she looked at Delia, seeing only a frightened and wary look in return. Swallowing, in a futile attempt to get moisture back into her throat, she gave the young nurse what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Hello Delia. I'm Patsy."

Delia stared back warily. People kept telling her she had been in an accident and that she was in a hospital. Everyone was here to help her, they said. It was supposed to be comforting she concluded. But all she felt was alone. All her thoughts seemed to evaporate as they ghosted through her mind. This tall, imposing woman didn't look threatening, but Delia had no idea why she was here. She licked her lips nervously. The other woman looked to be waiting for something. Delia wasn't sure she could help her. "Hello."

Patsy wasn't sure how her heart was still beating as it seemed to crash into the floor for a second time. There was a complete lack of recognition on Delia's face. Her voice mirrored the fear in her eyes. It was fragile and childlike. There was none of the confident warmth that usually coloured Delia's tone. She gave a brittle smile and decided to sit down before her legs gave way. Patsy couldn't help but look carefully at her love now that she was closer. There were grazes and patches of angry red skin along the woman's arms and hands, as well as her face. She must have hit the road with some force. Patsy closed her eyes for a second, trying to banish that thought from her head.

Unconsciously, she reached out and took one of Delia's hands in her own. "There's still some dirt from the road round your fingernails. It's by that little graze." Her insides twisted in horror as Delia withdrew her hand, clearly uncertain by the almost intimate interaction. Steeling herself, Patsy forced herself to continue. "When they next give you a bed bath just get them to rub it away with the corner of the flannel." She paused for a second before voicing a thought out loud. "A spot of antiseptic wouldn't go amiss."

Delia frowned, although it hurt her head to do so. The woman had walked in a few seconds ago. She was sure she had introduced herself but already the fog of confusion had clouded her thoughts and memory. She did seem to be able to remember concepts and general information though. It was the detail that wouldn't stick. Delia looked at the red-haired woman and decided she had never seen anyone look so sad. She mentally huffed at the thought. How could she possibly know if that thought was true when she couldn't even remember the woman's name? Somehow though, she wanted to provide comfort to her and tried to strike up what she hoped would be a suitable conversation. "You sound a bit like a nurse."

Patsy looked up, her face stricken. "Do I?" Her voice sounded alien to her. It was too high and strangled. Equally, Delia's accent was far more pronounced. The whole situation felt unreal somehow.

Delia could see the pain on the other woman's face. She wasn't simply a nurse. It was hurting her to be here. "Are you a friend of mine?" She guessed tentatively.

Patsy leaned forward hopefully. "Yes," she confirmed. Perhaps Delia was already beginning to gather her memories.

"Have we been friends long?"

Patsy felt her hopes evaporate the second Delia spoke the words. Her throat constricted slightly. There was clearly no quick recovery on the horizon. "A little while," she managed.

"That's nice," Delia replied, feeling that she genuinely meant the sentiment. There was a connection she had with the woman sat there. She was certain of it. That she looked so sad and devastated was hurting Delia. If only she could find a way of taking away that pain. However all the time she was stuck in here, she would be limited in giving this woman help. She had another thought. "Have you got lots of friends?"

Patsy swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat. "No," she whispered, desperately trying to hang onto her composure, even as she felt her eyes brim with tears. She managed to look at Delia again. The white hospital gown washed out Delia's face, despite the grazes. Patsy suddenly realised that Delia wasn't wearing her necklace. She glanced around covertly, hoping to spot the chain and ring somewhere. She didn't want Mrs Busby to find it, even though Delia could quite genuinely say right now that she had no idea what it was or how she got it. A cursory look around confirmed that any belongings Delia had were already tidied away. There was no trace of the jewellery. It was obvious of course, but Patsy couldn't help her heart pounding again. She would have to go to the site of the accident to make sure Delia hadn't lost the ring there.

Patsy somehow couldn't help but wonder at the fate of the ring. Was it lost forever? Was it hidden away, it's symbolism now unknown? Did its fate somehow mirror her relationship with Delia? She was startled from her thoughts by Delia's voice.

"Are you a nurse?"

Mrs Busby looked like she had been slapped but she quickly controlled her reaction. "No, cariad. I'm your mam," she answered gently.

Delia felt confused and disappointed. She had the feeling that she had asked that question before and had clearly seen the other woman's hurt reaction. Her condition wasn't just affecting her, she noted silently. However she had a more pressing concern right now. "Oh. C...can you help this girl?" She asked tentatively.

Mrs Busby moved closer to Patsy and placed her hands reassuringly on her shoulders. "This is Patsy cariad." Surely her daughter would recognise a woman she had spent time with recently, even if she didn't recognise her own mother. She noticed Patsy smile wanly at Delia at the introduction. "What's the matter?"

Delia swallowed, uncertain that she was doing the right thing, but she had to do something. The woman sat next to her bed looked absolutely distraught. "She says she's my friend. And it's making her cry."

Patsy swallowed in a valiant attempt to stop any tears falling. Despite the crushing pain she felt as she realised Delia truly had no idea who she was, Patsy grabbed hold of the tiniest glimmer of hope. Delia was putting her own needs before her own and displaying her selfless nature. It was one of Delia's best traits. Just that small act indicated to Patsy that Delia was not completely lost to her. She just had to find a way to unlock the barriers preventing Delia from remembering who she was.

Mrs Busby stood up and reached for her handbag. Patsy wasn't the only one crying. Seeing her daughter so broken, scared and fragile was almost too much to bear. She rummaged around her bag and handed out a tissue to Patsy. "The adverts make all sorts of claims for these paper handkerchiefs but I don't think they'll catch on," she commented dismissively. "Tears just seem to melt them." Her voice lifted and cracked, betraying the emotional state the woman was in.

  
~~~~

 

Patsy sat on a plastic chair in the corridor just outside Delia's room. She had been asked to leave while the nurses performed various checks and ancillary functions for their patient. She stared unseeing at the bouquet of flowers she still held. It had felt wrong putting them in a vase for Delia. The poor girl would probably forget who had brought them for her anyway. There was a gaping hole of sorrow in her chest and Patsy was feeling overwhelmed again.

There was a bitter irony to the situation really. She had spent hours with Delia discussing the importance of not getting found out. Of keeping their relationship secret so that no one could interfere and separate them. What they hadn't done was discuss what to do if they did find themselves pulled apart. They certainly hadn't discussed this particular permutation. They hadn't thought about what might happen if one of them was hurt.

Patsy decided that she needed to visit her solicitor to draw up some sort of legal documentation that would provide Delia with the access that she needed. She then forced down the thought. It might not be feasible or relevant if Delia never regained her memory. Patsy's eyes became steely. She would simply have to spend time with Delia again and see what happened. She was certain that those memories and feelings were in there somewhere. Patsy was determined to uncover them again.

She was startled from her thoughts as Mrs Busby sat down next to her. Patsy looked at her and gave a tight-lipped smile. The woman looked as devastated as she felt. Mrs Busby had remained inside the room in order to discuss Delia's progress with the doctors. It was a conversation Patsy was not entitled to be part of.

"Will her memory come back?" Patsy asked delicately, her voice strained.

Mrs Busby pulled a face. "No one will make us any promises. So we're having to settle for hope."

Patsy forced her face to stay impassive. She had relied on hope before and that had ended in utter disaster.

"She's dozing at the moment. Her father is sitting with her for a minute." Mrs Busby paused for a second or two. "He used to do that when she was a baby. Sit there looking at her while she slept." She sighed resignedly. "There'll be a lot of that when we get her home to Wales."

Patsy felt her head spin and her heart lurch in alarm. It wasn't enough that she had to deal with a memory-less Delia. Not having her close by at all was more than she could bear. "Will the hospital let you do that?" She asked.

"The specialist suggested it. She'll need looking after all the hours God sends. For a while at least. And we still don't know if the seizures will be permanent."

"Well may I come visit?" Patsy didn't recognise her own voice. It was unnaturally high as she forced her vocal cords to work. "Delia always says Pembrokeshire's lovely when it's not raining."

Mrs Busby looked at the nurse sympathetically. Patsy had remained somewhere nearby all day. She was obviously very close friends with her daughter. She placed a comforting hand on Patsy's shoulder. "Let's see how she does."

Patsy didn't want to be brushed off. And she certainly didn't want to lose contact with the woman she loved more than anything else she could think of. "May I call from time to time?"

Mrs Busby's face fell and she winced apologetically. "We aren't on the telephone." Patsy's grief was easy to read. Mrs Busby felt obliged to try and lessen the blow of best friends separating. "But I dare say you can write," she suggested.

Patsy stared at Mrs Busby for a moment, the words not really sinking in. It felt like the world was shattering around her. Everything felt too sharp, too bright - even in a dimly lit corridor of a dingy London hospital. She had only really felt that level of devastation once before. Patsy needed to get away. She needed to think and she needed to do something to rationalise what was going on, or she was going to sink into a hole she knew she would be unable to get out of.

She looked away from Mrs Busby and stared at the flowers she was holding again. "I know where these can go," she commented flatly, giving Mrs Busby a thin-lipped smile by was of excusing herself from the older woman's presence.

 

~~~~

 

Patsy paused at the road junction where Delia had been knocked off her bike. There was no evidence of the collision that had happened just a day ago. The street lamps provided an orange glow, but it wasn't really enough for Patsy to search the area thoroughly. She would have to return in daylight and look for the ring then. The red-haired nurse stared at the cobblestone road for long moments, but it revealed no other secrets and Patsy eventually felt the cold wind biting through her jacket. With a deep sigh, she turned away and walked up the street to the flat. The keys turned in their locks easily enough but Patsy had to stop for a second to prepare herself for the scene she already knew she would see when she stepped through the door.

The picnic blanket was still laid out, with plates and glasses providing a painful reminder of the last meal they had shared together. Patsy clearly remembered Delia's list of 'wants' for the flat. Her heart had soared at the time, delighted that Delia was already planning out their future. Their future together.

Patsy took in a deep breath and exhaled heavily. Then, Patsy fell back on the one thing that centred her when she felt out of control. She filled the iron bucket with water and added detergent. Blinking back tears, she grabbed a cloth and soaked it before wringing it out and scrubbing the windows. Delia had stopped her from cleaning them just a day ago. She was determined that they would be clean before she walked away.

The midwife worked steadily, emptying the bucket when the water became too dirty to use anymore. It was mind numbing work, but it was exactly what she needed. Patsy didn't want to think about her life now. She didn't know how she could cope without Delia's presence.

When the windows and the windowsill were cleaned to her satisfaction, Patsy took the flowers and arranged them in the hideous jug that Delia had found so charming. As she spread them out and arranged them appropriately, she gently rubbed one of the petals. It was so beautiful, and so delicate. Fragile even. Who knew that love could be that fragile too?

Patsy got a fresh bucket of water and continued around the flat, washing everything that hadn't already been touched. Eventually, she could fight her weariness no longer, and she sunk down on her knees in the middle of the room. It was peaceful now. Patsy allowed her mind to wander. To fill in the blanks and imagine a life with Delia. She pretended that she could hear that soft Welsh lilt welcoming her home. Delia would pull her into the living room, or even into the kitchen and welcome her home properly, with a kiss. It was all Delia had ever wanted. It was all Patsy hadn't known she'd wanted. And now it had been cruelly snatched away. From both of them.

Patsy was stirred from her thoughts by daylight breaking through the window. She looked up to see the flowers lit by the morning sun. Delia had been right. They looked glorious there on the windowsill. It was also a reminder that time stopped for no one. For nothing. No matter how she felt now, Patsy still had to function. She got herself up from the floor and took one last look around the flat before closing the door behind her.

She pulled the front door shut with her fingertips. Taking a steadying breath, Patsy kissed the front door key. It was the closest she would able to get to kissing goodbye to Delia.

A lump formed in her throat as she posted the key ring through the letterbox. Patsy was reminded of something Mrs Busby, of all people, had said. She had to settle for hope. Patsy would have to do the same. She believed in Delia. And she believed in their love.

She would not give up.

 

**~To Be Continued~**

**Author's Note:**

> So the first prompts were
> 
> 1) How does Delia get the ring  
> 2) Why does she wear it round her neck


End file.
